Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

I was tired of trying and failing.

A Closer Look At Uranus’s Moons Reveals a Surprising Dark Side - Gizmodo

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

It’s still here.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

What is the best reply if your boyfriend asks you,"why do you love me?"

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

It’s here now, writing to you.

The odd effects a year in space has on the bodies of astronauts - supercarblondie.com

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

What do you think about Vivian Jenna Wilson's decision to speak out against her father, Elon Musk, in a public interview with NBC News?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Is it true that Jehovah's witnesses once thought the world would end in 1975?

You are like me, then.

I had run out of hope.

The sadness was still there.

Flash floods kill 3 in West Virginia, several people missing after inches of rain fell in 30 minutes - CBS News

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

And the sadness?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

What is the sluttiest thing your wife has ever done?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

I’ve a dismissive avoidant partner who said that he’s overwhelmed by our relationship and that he wants to break up, how do I get him back?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Why do gun owners feel the need to defend themselves with deadly weapons? Can they not just talk things out like civilized people do?

I was tired of fighting.

Be who you already are.